Tension and pain and praise
This week we were driving, and Mason said something truly rude and terrible to Levi. I was so shocked that I really didn't have a good response ready or know how to handle the situation, so what came out of my mouth was something like,
"Mason, I can't believe you just said that. I think you need to be silent for a few minutes and talk to God about what you just said."
I pretty much punted. I had nothing in the stored parental wisdom tank to handle the situation.
But, God...
It shouldn't surprise me, but Mason actually followed through. A few minutes later I heard his little voice, "Mom, I talked to God, and He told me to pray for Levi, so I did. Can I talk again?"
I was pretty amazed, although of course God communicates with little children, and of course they are better able to hear his still small voice without all the baggage crowding up their heads.
For the rest of the car ride Mason wanted to talk about God-things. Like what sins might be unforgivable (I told him none, although I hope he wasn't looking to see how far he could toe the line). Heaven, one of his favorite long car ride topics. He told me he didn't want to live much past 50.
"Why?" I wondered, expecting to hear that he didn't want to get all wrinkly and ugly (oops, that's my own baggage popping up again).
"Because heaven is just so great and I'll really be ready to get there."
I've blogged about this before. It's not a new topic of conversation. There is such a tension there for me. A mother's desire to hold him so close, so far away from death... A joy that he gets it, he wants to be with God...
As Christians we trust that we have nothing to fear, that eternity with God will be beyond any earthly ecstasy we could ever imagine. Knowing and being known fully, without fear, shame, pain, or loss.
But.
Death is hard. It just sucks. There is separation and loss, grieving and tearing away and loneliness. Regret.
One part of the Bible that always surprises me is that Jesus wept. His friend Lazarus died, and he knew he'd raise him up, back to life again, but still he wept. Christ gets it. He felt this pain, too.
Three deaths this week. Just that I know of, personally. It seems like way too many. How many more over this wide world that our Lord has watched over, grieved over, wept over? Praise God, Praise God, we do not have a high priest who sits removed and brushes off our pain, but one who has borne it all and bears it all with us, and walks alongside as we journey towards the promise.
There he will remove the cloud of gloom, the shadow of death that hangs over the earth. He will swallow up death forever! The Sovereign Lord will wipe away all tears. He will remove forever all insults and mockery against his land and people. The Lord has spoken! In that day the people will proclaim, “This is our God! We trusted in him, and he saved us! This is The Lord, in whom we trusted. Let us rejoice in the salvation he brings!” (Isaiah 25:7-9 NLT)
"Mason, I can't believe you just said that. I think you need to be silent for a few minutes and talk to God about what you just said."
I pretty much punted. I had nothing in the stored parental wisdom tank to handle the situation.
But, God...
It shouldn't surprise me, but Mason actually followed through. A few minutes later I heard his little voice, "Mom, I talked to God, and He told me to pray for Levi, so I did. Can I talk again?"
I was pretty amazed, although of course God communicates with little children, and of course they are better able to hear his still small voice without all the baggage crowding up their heads.
For the rest of the car ride Mason wanted to talk about God-things. Like what sins might be unforgivable (I told him none, although I hope he wasn't looking to see how far he could toe the line). Heaven, one of his favorite long car ride topics. He told me he didn't want to live much past 50.
"Why?" I wondered, expecting to hear that he didn't want to get all wrinkly and ugly (oops, that's my own baggage popping up again).
"Because heaven is just so great and I'll really be ready to get there."
I've blogged about this before. It's not a new topic of conversation. There is such a tension there for me. A mother's desire to hold him so close, so far away from death... A joy that he gets it, he wants to be with God...
As Christians we trust that we have nothing to fear, that eternity with God will be beyond any earthly ecstasy we could ever imagine. Knowing and being known fully, without fear, shame, pain, or loss.
But.
Death is hard. It just sucks. There is separation and loss, grieving and tearing away and loneliness. Regret.
One part of the Bible that always surprises me is that Jesus wept. His friend Lazarus died, and he knew he'd raise him up, back to life again, but still he wept. Christ gets it. He felt this pain, too.
Three deaths this week. Just that I know of, personally. It seems like way too many. How many more over this wide world that our Lord has watched over, grieved over, wept over? Praise God, Praise God, we do not have a high priest who sits removed and brushes off our pain, but one who has borne it all and bears it all with us, and walks alongside as we journey towards the promise.
There he will remove the cloud of gloom, the shadow of death that hangs over the earth. He will swallow up death forever! The Sovereign Lord will wipe away all tears. He will remove forever all insults and mockery against his land and people. The Lord has spoken! In that day the people will proclaim, “This is our God! We trusted in him, and he saved us! This is The Lord, in whom we trusted. Let us rejoice in the salvation he brings!” (Isaiah 25:7-9 NLT)
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