Looking back, looking forward
Phew.
Hello 2015.
I think about me, a year ago, and I want to hug that girl, that one who had no idea what was around the corner, who thought the hard stuff was wrapping up, and I want to whisper to her to hold on, brace herself... and I want to tell her to slow down, to trust, and to have faith. To let go of that picture she has in her head of what 2014 is going to end up looking like because it's just not.
And so that's probably what I should tell myself again at the outset of another year because who knows what's coming?
BUT... what I do know is this:
God is faithful.
Maybe His faithfulness doesn't fit in my little timelines and maybe the ending doesn't look like I thought it would but He always wins and His purposes always prevail.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
And, most importantly, His purpose is good.
So. I thought we would have our little Tess home by now, perhaps by the end of the summer, and I pictured her with us for the big family celebration at Christmas, surrounded by her cousins. But she is still in Ethiopia and we are still here and the US Embassy still holds onto our file. We have hit every snag and delay possible (and some never before seen by our agency) and still we wait. I have called and emailed senators, the state department, Embassy officials, every contact I have in Ethiopia, but nothing helps. I am reminded that only God is going to bring this little girl home.
The silly part is that I forgot that. Somewhere between the frantic calls and emails and praying and crying and calling again, I forgot that God led us to this, that He planned it all so that the exact day we were sending in our application to our first adoption agency-- THAT was the day our little girl was being born in Ethiopia. HE is the one who somehow made sure that when our first adoption agency completely dissolved, along with all of our carefully saved adoption funds... He made a way for us to transfer our referral to a new agency, which took the cooperation of the Ethiopian and US government officials-- no small feat!-- and then provided a bonus from Joe's work in that same month that allowed us to afford to continue.
We still don't know what the end of this adoption journey looks like. But we have learned so much about leaning heavy on God, the only one who is always there and who really gets it all... all the hurt and all the hope... and takes it all and makes something beautiful out of it. And He is, already. He is shaping us and growing in us a new patience and hope that is completely independent of anything the world offers.
This Christmas was extra special because Cassie and Brian came home with Baby Oliver, Austin and Miya were in town with Landyn, Alana and Matt brought Avett, and Riss and Jon came. Which means more cousins were in town for Christmas than have been in years, so it was a really fun, active Christmas. We spent a few days at my parents' house enjoying each other and were completely exhausted by the time we made it home!
I had thought at one point we might be in Ethiopia over Christmas break but I'm so glad we didn't miss out on family time, as much as I would've loved to be able to cuddle Tess. Just more evidence that His plans are better than mine.
A friend shared this from a blog and I believe it speaks so well to our year and how I am processing it all...
2014 was hard for many, many people.
For you, it might be going down as one of the worst years you can remember.
For you, it may have brought you to your knees more times than you could count.
For you, it may have left you breathless … hopeless … tired and weary.
But before you eagerly slam the door on 2014, I ask you to look down at your hands.
See that dirt under your fingernails?
My friend, that is beautiful. That is remarkable. That is significant.
You could have let go. But you didn’t.
You could have given up. But you didn’t.
You hung on.
You hung on.
And here’s what I believe:
I believe 2014 was not your worst year, but possibly your greatest.
Your Year of Greatest Strength
Your Year of Greatest Faith
Your Year of Greatest Hope
Your Year of Greatest Patience
Your Year of Greatest Risk
Your Year of Greatest Determination
Your Year of Greatest Courage
Just look at that dirt beneath your fingernails.
That is what you are made of.
Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it remarkable? Isn’t it significant?
It was your Year of Greatest Survival.
And you lived to tell about it.
Thank you for holding on.
Let us celebrate.
Let us celebrate.
The light overcame the darkness.
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2014/12/15/if-2014-tried-you-or-tested-you-do-this/
Hello 2015.
I think about me, a year ago, and I want to hug that girl, that one who had no idea what was around the corner, who thought the hard stuff was wrapping up, and I want to whisper to her to hold on, brace herself... and I want to tell her to slow down, to trust, and to have faith. To let go of that picture she has in her head of what 2014 is going to end up looking like because it's just not.
And so that's probably what I should tell myself again at the outset of another year because who knows what's coming?
BUT... what I do know is this:
God is faithful.
Maybe His faithfulness doesn't fit in my little timelines and maybe the ending doesn't look like I thought it would but He always wins and His purposes always prevail.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
And, most importantly, His purpose is good.
So. I thought we would have our little Tess home by now, perhaps by the end of the summer, and I pictured her with us for the big family celebration at Christmas, surrounded by her cousins. But she is still in Ethiopia and we are still here and the US Embassy still holds onto our file. We have hit every snag and delay possible (and some never before seen by our agency) and still we wait. I have called and emailed senators, the state department, Embassy officials, every contact I have in Ethiopia, but nothing helps. I am reminded that only God is going to bring this little girl home.
The silly part is that I forgot that. Somewhere between the frantic calls and emails and praying and crying and calling again, I forgot that God led us to this, that He planned it all so that the exact day we were sending in our application to our first adoption agency-- THAT was the day our little girl was being born in Ethiopia. HE is the one who somehow made sure that when our first adoption agency completely dissolved, along with all of our carefully saved adoption funds... He made a way for us to transfer our referral to a new agency, which took the cooperation of the Ethiopian and US government officials-- no small feat!-- and then provided a bonus from Joe's work in that same month that allowed us to afford to continue.
We still don't know what the end of this adoption journey looks like. But we have learned so much about leaning heavy on God, the only one who is always there and who really gets it all... all the hurt and all the hope... and takes it all and makes something beautiful out of it. And He is, already. He is shaping us and growing in us a new patience and hope that is completely independent of anything the world offers.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalm 62:5
Meanwhile, we have had some special time to enjoy our family before everything changes again. The boys are getting so big so quickly.
Mason has been loving his rollerblades and pogo-stick... this kid is always moving and going and never, ever runs out of energy. He is smart and funny and oh so dramatic. Life is always interesting with Mojee.
Levi has been enjoying getting to know the neighborhood boys even better-- my social butterfly, he is happiest when surrounded by people, parties, and laughter. He is all boy and noise. He is really loving that I got the Kinect for Christmas so finally we have found a video game that we can agree on-- if they are moving, dancing, or jumping I am happy; if there is a screen on he is happy. And watching he and Mason compete in Just Dance is hilarious :)
Micah got a scooter for Christmas and so he can finally keep up with the neighborhood scooter races. He also got some Kinex (sp?) lego-like toys and he is such a good little builder. He somehow managed to get sick for the preschool Christmas program like he promised he would, so he missed performing; the depths of his stubbornness are sometimes still surprising. He knows what he wants and will make a very good leader one day. Watch out world!Mason has been loving his rollerblades and pogo-stick... this kid is always moving and going and never, ever runs out of energy. He is smart and funny and oh so dramatic. Life is always interesting with Mojee.
Levi has been enjoying getting to know the neighborhood boys even better-- my social butterfly, he is happiest when surrounded by people, parties, and laughter. He is all boy and noise. He is really loving that I got the Kinect for Christmas so finally we have found a video game that we can agree on-- if they are moving, dancing, or jumping I am happy; if there is a screen on he is happy. And watching he and Mason compete in Just Dance is hilarious :)
This Christmas was extra special because Cassie and Brian came home with Baby Oliver, Austin and Miya were in town with Landyn, Alana and Matt brought Avett, and Riss and Jon came. Which means more cousins were in town for Christmas than have been in years, so it was a really fun, active Christmas. We spent a few days at my parents' house enjoying each other and were completely exhausted by the time we made it home!
I had thought at one point we might be in Ethiopia over Christmas break but I'm so glad we didn't miss out on family time, as much as I would've loved to be able to cuddle Tess. Just more evidence that His plans are better than mine.
And so, we continue to wait, and pray, and enjoy the blessings that we have right here in front of us, and prepare for the good things He is calling us towards...
2014 was hard for many, many people.
For you, it might be going down as one of the worst years you can remember.
For you, it may have brought you to your knees more times than you could count.
For you, it may have left you breathless … hopeless … tired and weary.
But before you eagerly slam the door on 2014, I ask you to look down at your hands.
See that dirt under your fingernails?
My friend, that is beautiful. That is remarkable. That is significant.
You could have let go. But you didn’t.
You could have given up. But you didn’t.
You hung on.
You hung on.
And here’s what I believe:
I believe 2014 was not your worst year, but possibly your greatest.
Your Year of Greatest Strength
Your Year of Greatest Faith
Your Year of Greatest Hope
Your Year of Greatest Patience
Your Year of Greatest Risk
Your Year of Greatest Determination
Your Year of Greatest Courage
Just look at that dirt beneath your fingernails.
That is what you are made of.
Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it remarkable? Isn’t it significant?
It was your Year of Greatest Survival.
And you lived to tell about it.
Thank you for holding on.
Let us celebrate.
Let us celebrate.
The light overcame the darkness.
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2014/12/15/if-2014-tried-you-or-tested-you-do-this/
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