Us and Them
You hurt me today. I don't cry easily but today after I read your words there were hours and hours of weeping, lots of moments in between of that gulping ugly cry. I share this not to wound you but to remind you that when you casually forward an email those words still have the power to cut.
Deeply.
Curled helpless on the couch I knew my sadness was somewhat selfish and not purely for the benefit of my babies. But where does my sadness ever completely separate from the sadness of my babies'?
How can I make you understand that suggesting that only black police respond to black crimes and white police respond to white crimes is inherently racist? Do you see the slippery slope between separate police forces and separate drinking fountains? Are you willing to explain that idea to my white son and my black son and answer the many questions they'd have about that plan? How can I make you see the racism within yourself that makes me so hesitant to trust you with my kids? You don't understand that when you say, "But I love Them...", as if they are separate from those other black kids.. they...those....us....them.....
I'm ready and willing to own up to my own inadequacies in understanding all the nuances of this conversation. My stories come from history books, not from sitting at the knee of a treasured Meemaw or Poppa who lived those stories. My experiences are only 8 years old and began with the adoption of a screaming toddler on a crowded airplane. Others' stories are centuries old and can be traced to wailing families torn from their villages and packed into the depths of fetid slave boats.
So where do we go from here? I have very little understanding to offer you. I don't agree with you. We likely will never see eye to eye.
Is there hope?
I can't offer you a slate wiped clean and full access to my children. I won't be able to protect them from all the racism in the world, but if there's any that I can protect them from, I will.
No matter what.
All I can offer to you now is Jesus.
After hours curled on the couch asking God to sing over me, soothe me, give me wisdom and strength (I was not big hearted enough to ask to forgive), He reminded me that we are all equal at the foot of the cross. Your nasty ugly sin, my nasty ugly sin... it all brings us to the foot of the cross, empty-handed, with nothing pretty to offer but everything beautiful to receive.
Romans 3:23 reminds us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
The Message translation of the Bible puts it this way: "For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ."
The fruit of the Gospel is that we are all equal. All equally beautiful in the eyes of the Creator who "created (our) inmost being; knit (us) together in (our) mother’s womb". Psalm 139:13
And all equally sinful and unable to live that life that would bring God glory, that would tear down walls that divide rather then erecting them ever higher. "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28 Neither black nor white nor brown nor red nor yellow.
Neither us nor them.
God has given me a voice and I will use it. I pray He will continue to direct it for unity and truth, although it seems truth and unity may not co-exist for a very long time. He is doing something big. Our nation is groaning and fighting against all of the oppressions and divisions that have been part of us for so long, and whether God is causing it or allowing it doesn't matter, only that He IS and He is in it and in us as we fight for his Kingdom come, His will to be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Those of us that have been positioned to speak will use our voices as He allows. He has gifted me with four beautiful blessings to raise and pray for. They are black and white and all of their lives matter, no more or less than those of Freddie Gray or Trayvon Martin or Martin Luther King Jr. or the kind policeman who lives on my street and always waves when we pass on our bikes.
I thought of Mary today and how she must have felt watching her son be falsely accused, spit on, beaten, murdered by a corrupt and selfish political system. I felt only a tiny inkling of that same hurt today, pondering the slurs and assumptions that will be made against my children based on their skin color alone. And it hurt. And in my sadness I was angry and I wanted to fight.
Then I thought of all those black mamas who have raised their children and watched over and over as hurts were carelessly thrown at them, who feel helpless to protect them outside of their own mama arms. I thought about how angry we mamas feel when someone hurts our children and how quickly we lash out to protect them.
I thought about how when I was little, and hurting, and no one came to protect me, I learned quickly to protect myself. To wear armor. To default to anger, or victim, depending on the circumstances.
Which puts us back where we began. Lacking understanding. Sad, angry, in complete and utter disagreement. Wearing our pitiful armor.
The only place to go from here is to Jesus.
"How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God." 2 Corinthians 5:21 (MSG)
And so we praise Him.
Deeply.
Curled helpless on the couch I knew my sadness was somewhat selfish and not purely for the benefit of my babies. But where does my sadness ever completely separate from the sadness of my babies'?
How can I make you understand that suggesting that only black police respond to black crimes and white police respond to white crimes is inherently racist? Do you see the slippery slope between separate police forces and separate drinking fountains? Are you willing to explain that idea to my white son and my black son and answer the many questions they'd have about that plan? How can I make you see the racism within yourself that makes me so hesitant to trust you with my kids? You don't understand that when you say, "But I love Them...", as if they are separate from those other black kids.. they...those....us....them.....
I'm ready and willing to own up to my own inadequacies in understanding all the nuances of this conversation. My stories come from history books, not from sitting at the knee of a treasured Meemaw or Poppa who lived those stories. My experiences are only 8 years old and began with the adoption of a screaming toddler on a crowded airplane. Others' stories are centuries old and can be traced to wailing families torn from their villages and packed into the depths of fetid slave boats.
So where do we go from here? I have very little understanding to offer you. I don't agree with you. We likely will never see eye to eye.
Is there hope?
I can't offer you a slate wiped clean and full access to my children. I won't be able to protect them from all the racism in the world, but if there's any that I can protect them from, I will.
No matter what.
All I can offer to you now is Jesus.
After hours curled on the couch asking God to sing over me, soothe me, give me wisdom and strength (I was not big hearted enough to ask to forgive), He reminded me that we are all equal at the foot of the cross. Your nasty ugly sin, my nasty ugly sin... it all brings us to the foot of the cross, empty-handed, with nothing pretty to offer but everything beautiful to receive.
Romans 3:23 reminds us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
The Message translation of the Bible puts it this way: "For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ."
The fruit of the Gospel is that we are all equal. All equally beautiful in the eyes of the Creator who "created (our) inmost being; knit (us) together in (our) mother’s womb". Psalm 139:13
And all equally sinful and unable to live that life that would bring God glory, that would tear down walls that divide rather then erecting them ever higher. "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28 Neither black nor white nor brown nor red nor yellow.
Neither us nor them.
God has given me a voice and I will use it. I pray He will continue to direct it for unity and truth, although it seems truth and unity may not co-exist for a very long time. He is doing something big. Our nation is groaning and fighting against all of the oppressions and divisions that have been part of us for so long, and whether God is causing it or allowing it doesn't matter, only that He IS and He is in it and in us as we fight for his Kingdom come, His will to be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Those of us that have been positioned to speak will use our voices as He allows. He has gifted me with four beautiful blessings to raise and pray for. They are black and white and all of their lives matter, no more or less than those of Freddie Gray or Trayvon Martin or Martin Luther King Jr. or the kind policeman who lives on my street and always waves when we pass on our bikes.
I thought of Mary today and how she must have felt watching her son be falsely accused, spit on, beaten, murdered by a corrupt and selfish political system. I felt only a tiny inkling of that same hurt today, pondering the slurs and assumptions that will be made against my children based on their skin color alone. And it hurt. And in my sadness I was angry and I wanted to fight.
Then I thought of all those black mamas who have raised their children and watched over and over as hurts were carelessly thrown at them, who feel helpless to protect them outside of their own mama arms. I thought about how angry we mamas feel when someone hurts our children and how quickly we lash out to protect them.
I thought about how when I was little, and hurting, and no one came to protect me, I learned quickly to protect myself. To wear armor. To default to anger, or victim, depending on the circumstances.
Which puts us back where we began. Lacking understanding. Sad, angry, in complete and utter disagreement. Wearing our pitiful armor.
The only place to go from here is to Jesus.
"How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God." 2 Corinthians 5:21 (MSG)
And so we praise Him.
Comments
You're example using Mary is a good one. Even though her Son's suffering and crucifixion was always in the plan, how we are to understand and forgive an injustice like that, as she did, is beyond me! Grace I reckon. Problem is, we all are responsible for that apparent injustice, it was our sins He died for. We just had the romans do our dirty work. Grace, love, mercy and faith and the words of her own son, Jesus, will help us through this.
I believe we, your family, will always defend your children and stand behind you. We all will!!!! None of us are perfect. Both black and white have their prejudices which honest dialogue will help to resolve. I truly feel for the families that lose loved ones. Keeping our families safe is a priority for us all.
One of my concerns was when government officials and leaders/representatives of the black or white community rush to judgment before investigations are completed hearing both sides of the story and getting all the facts and eyewitness statements. That is what I saw happen here and the judge ended up acquitting 3 of the officers before all the charges were finally dropped on the rest. In the mean time lots of people jumped to conclusions resulting in violence and deaths and rioting. This has been the norm, violence and hate and then the other side of the story comes out. If a policeman is found guilty then jail time is warranted. If he or she is found innocent then the accusers need to suffer the consequences. Let's not accuse before ascertaining the facts. Pictures tell a thousand words but can certainly be misleading at times. Dialogue!
Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez, the nation’s only female Hispanic sheriff, addressed the Democratic National Convention on Thursday said, "the only way for Americans, particularly those of color, to restore positive relationships with law enforcement is for both sides to have an open dialogue." Let's do it!
I'll leave it at that for now. God Bless!
It was said #How can I make you understand that suggesting that only black police respond to black crimes and white police respond to white crimes is inherently racist?"
My thinking is that it would remove the race element when a policeman had to subdue/arrest an african american. Maybe make it safer for everybody?????
Dividing people by race and offering different treatment based on those distinctions is the working, societal definition of racism and discrimination. From the dictionary: treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit: racial and religious intolerance and discrimination.
I think that your statement "Let's not accuse before ascertaining the facts." is the root of the problem. You are assuming that the american justice system is capable of setting aside their own racial biases and corruption. Time and time again these police officers are being acquitted when there is hard video proof that the victims are running away and being shot in the back. Here is a brief article on Freddie Gray:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/charges-dropped-officers-freddie-gray-death-article-1.2727994
I was recently in a discussion with someone on facebook who stated "As long as you teach your children to be respectful and stay out of trouble they will be just fine." The complete ignorance of the white community truly astounds me. Leah will very soon be a first hand witness to how Mason and Micah will be treated differently then Levi. As her family member, I urge you to read about and listen to black people's life experiences and also research into the "fairness" of the justice system when it comes to sentencing a white person and black person for the same crime.